Getting started is hard for me sometimes
well, most times I would say. And it's
hard to wind down once I get going doing
something I'm loving.
Nature usually intervenes and I yield
"to the gentleman from heaven" and quit.
For the day, for the morning or just for
lunch.
I'm like a little kid who wouldn't come
to meals unless called, and then reluctantly.
I'm having too much fun. Eat? What for?
I don't need energy. I'm on a roll. I
could go all day and do many days.
So where am I going with this? I think
to the kitchen. All this talk about food
has made me hungry, given me an appetite.
See, I don't want to stop and eat. I'm
on a roll. But no one's calling me to
meals. It's my choice. So I'm going.
Build up my energy for tomorrow.
They tell me since I'm on an eating
program that enhances my absorption
of nutrients that I will be hungrier
for a while making up for lost time
when not too much was getting through
very easily--if at all for some nutrients.
Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're
full. Doesn't seem like such a chore
to me.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Whose life am I living, anyway?
I've got the constant brakes on my life
I don't care what Abraham or anybody else
says about letting go of the river I
constantly make little eddies of peace
and quiet to punctuate my day--even the
whole day one big punctuation mark of
rest and relaxation doing what I want
whatever pleases me with maybe a few
shoulds thrown in there for good measure
just to see how they feel, if they're
really shoulds or they're so good for me
that the reward is in the doing of them
no matter the motivation or sourcing
voice that initiates it.
Today is my day. No one can take it from
me--I can't even take it from myself with
all my shoulding behavior--an antiquated
form of behavior left over from voices
that programed me in their way instead of
letting me find my own way no matter
how young I was. I'm out of college before
I'm free to think for myself and then find
I don't even know how to do it because of
reliance on other people's rules for the
conduct of my life.
So I'm going out or not with a smile on my
face or whatever feeling is there at the
moment heading toward the smile soon enough.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
I don't care what Abraham or anybody else
says about letting go of the river I
constantly make little eddies of peace
and quiet to punctuate my day--even the
whole day one big punctuation mark of
rest and relaxation doing what I want
whatever pleases me with maybe a few
shoulds thrown in there for good measure
just to see how they feel, if they're
really shoulds or they're so good for me
that the reward is in the doing of them
no matter the motivation or sourcing
voice that initiates it.
Today is my day. No one can take it from
me--I can't even take it from myself with
all my shoulding behavior--an antiquated
form of behavior left over from voices
that programed me in their way instead of
letting me find my own way no matter
how young I was. I'm out of college before
I'm free to think for myself and then find
I don't even know how to do it because of
reliance on other people's rules for the
conduct of my life.
So I'm going out or not with a smile on my
face or whatever feeling is there at the
moment heading toward the smile soon enough.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Expect the Unexpected
My days are filled with varied experiences.
No two alike. What I expect is usually
interrupted by a chance occurrence
synchronistically coming to my aid in
one way or another.
So planning is almost out of the question.
Being in the moment is much more useful
and pertinent to my life. If I focus
on feelings, planning may have a place
in my life. There are lots of feelings
that would be acceptable. So I could be "off"
and be surprised by a feeling I didn't expect
but which at the same time I'd like to experience.
But if I ask for something so specific that
getting close wouldn't count, then I'm usually
asking for disappointment, especially if I had
my heart set on getting that particular
manifestation and it fell through.
So...there are lots of ways to fulfill my
needs and being open to a stroke of grace
intervening to help me to choose happiness
more easily is a point of view I want to
cultivate more often.
I see things as coming along just at "the
right time" that I need and can use them. Now
that's just me. Other people may not look at
it that way, but my life is kind of taking on
that effortless quality of that happening so
often to not notice it and say or think to myself
"how convenient".
So the adventurous quality of my days are
somewhat fun. I never know what to expect.
Life is keeping me primed to be flexible and
willing to change paths in the middle of the stream
so speak.
I may even go so far as to say I encourage these
curve balls life throws at me--just to keep things
interesting!! I'm being taught that what I want
and how it is are more out of my control than
I may like. It used to be I could depend on certain
things occurring in the future with more sureness
than happens nowadays. Too much fluidity and rapid
change in the world these days is making planning
more obsolete than it ever was.
I kind of like getting used to these foiled plans
of mice and men falling through because ultimately
man's adaptation to grow and evolve is dependent on
all the chaos the world entertains daily.
So expect what you want but be willing to collect
rain checks when mother nature has a bad hair day.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
No two alike. What I expect is usually
interrupted by a chance occurrence
synchronistically coming to my aid in
one way or another.
So planning is almost out of the question.
Being in the moment is much more useful
and pertinent to my life. If I focus
on feelings, planning may have a place
in my life. There are lots of feelings
that would be acceptable. So I could be "off"
and be surprised by a feeling I didn't expect
but which at the same time I'd like to experience.
But if I ask for something so specific that
getting close wouldn't count, then I'm usually
asking for disappointment, especially if I had
my heart set on getting that particular
manifestation and it fell through.
So...there are lots of ways to fulfill my
needs and being open to a stroke of grace
intervening to help me to choose happiness
more easily is a point of view I want to
cultivate more often.
I see things as coming along just at "the
right time" that I need and can use them. Now
that's just me. Other people may not look at
it that way, but my life is kind of taking on
that effortless quality of that happening so
often to not notice it and say or think to myself
"how convenient".
So the adventurous quality of my days are
somewhat fun. I never know what to expect.
Life is keeping me primed to be flexible and
willing to change paths in the middle of the stream
so speak.
I may even go so far as to say I encourage these
curve balls life throws at me--just to keep things
interesting!! I'm being taught that what I want
and how it is are more out of my control than
I may like. It used to be I could depend on certain
things occurring in the future with more sureness
than happens nowadays. Too much fluidity and rapid
change in the world these days is making planning
more obsolete than it ever was.
I kind of like getting used to these foiled plans
of mice and men falling through because ultimately
man's adaptation to grow and evolve is dependent on
all the chaos the world entertains daily.
So expect what you want but be willing to collect
rain checks when mother nature has a bad hair day.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
Returning to Myself
After having lived
nearly seven decades
in a body
seemingly detached
yet still attached
an accessory to travel
the physical plane
not the shiny model
of days gone past
a new version
of the original
is emerging
a total makeover
salvaging usable parts
turning back time
rolling off the 2012
assembly line, soon.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
nearly seven decades
in a body
seemingly detached
yet still attached
an accessory to travel
the physical plane
not the shiny model
of days gone past
a new version
of the original
is emerging
a total makeover
salvaging usable parts
turning back time
rolling off the 2012
assembly line, soon.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Soaring Hawk
The hawk soars
wings spread wide
effortlessly gliding
circling with
nary a flap
having reached
its altitude
high above
the dry
dusty field
its usual home
far and away
from any prey
for the sole joy
of riding
the updrafts
on a hot
summer's day.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
wings spread wide
effortlessly gliding
circling with
nary a flap
having reached
its altitude
high above
the dry
dusty field
its usual home
far and away
from any prey
for the sole joy
of riding
the updrafts
on a hot
summer's day.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
Reflections on the Day
What if I just wrote until my hand fell off!!? I never seem to get enough writing into my day. I have a lot to "outgas" I guess!
Sometimes I just need to "hear" myself think--actually that's what happens most times. What's locked up inside my head/gut or wherever the vault is kept needs an outlet, an escape valve to let off/blow off steam as it were. It's not good to bottle up "stuff" inside of you. And if you don't spend a lot of time chewing the fat or someone's ear off all day or some of the day, it needs to come out somewhere!
I wrote an email detailing my day to a friend--never done that before--it was nice to see it all laid out--what I "accomplished" today even though each little bit didn't amount to much, all pieced together, it made a nice "puzzle picture". Something to justify my existence on earth this day.
I don't always have to "do" stuff--get stuff accomplished but there's still a lot of pressure inside of me to not be able to sit back day after day and not try to improve my life a little when I know there's so much on my "to do list" that I just never seem to get to.
80% of our results comes from 20% of our efforts so it's said. That means for 80% of 24 hrs., about 20 hrs., I can do nothing! and the other 4 hrs. is what brings home the er...bacon or carrots in my case.
It was 100 degrees today and I, as I do almost everyday, decided to go out into the nature area across from where I live and visit. Whew!
Summer reminds us of its potency to be natures vicissitudes of temperature variation where I live (CA.) 40 degrees variation between day and night--thank God.
Just ate a bunch of walnuts. I've been having a craving for some nuts and that's the closest to what I was craving (salted cashews) that I had on hand.
Something chewy--fresh cracked from the shell--and oily but still a whole food.
Oh, I could easily overdo so many things (including walnuts)!
I turned my computer off--at least for a while as a statement to myself that I depend too much on that machine and need to back away from it at times and maybe even often so that I can have some semblance of a life!
I've had my share of addictions as all us have had but this computer thing--I have no other "electronic gadgets" I can take with me out of the house and I want to keep it that way. I treasure my "alone time" away from all that stuff too much to even contemplate changing it.
I am reading a great book. But you (I) can't read all day long--except there were times--going through the Harry Potter series--I did just that--eat and read, eat and read.
But these slower summer days allows me as a teacher to choose more deliberately my life that I want to live.
It has to be forced upon me almost--I could have pushed through the summer with extra employment but rest seems a more attractive option and I choose not to call it laziness although a part of me would like to ratchet up my energy reserves and make a little extra income. But people are threatening to take away what little I have so I might not get much out of my extra effort anyway.
I know what it takes to get through a school year as a substitute as my sole source of income and having extra smmertime off is part of it.
Sometimes I just need to "hear" myself think--actually that's what happens most times. What's locked up inside my head/gut or wherever the vault is kept needs an outlet, an escape valve to let off/blow off steam as it were. It's not good to bottle up "stuff" inside of you. And if you don't spend a lot of time chewing the fat or someone's ear off all day or some of the day, it needs to come out somewhere!
I wrote an email detailing my day to a friend--never done that before--it was nice to see it all laid out--what I "accomplished" today even though each little bit didn't amount to much, all pieced together, it made a nice "puzzle picture". Something to justify my existence on earth this day.
I don't always have to "do" stuff--get stuff accomplished but there's still a lot of pressure inside of me to not be able to sit back day after day and not try to improve my life a little when I know there's so much on my "to do list" that I just never seem to get to.
80% of our results comes from 20% of our efforts so it's said. That means for 80% of 24 hrs., about 20 hrs., I can do nothing! and the other 4 hrs. is what brings home the er...bacon or carrots in my case.
It was 100 degrees today and I, as I do almost everyday, decided to go out into the nature area across from where I live and visit. Whew!
Summer reminds us of its potency to be natures vicissitudes of temperature variation where I live (CA.) 40 degrees variation between day and night--thank God.
Just ate a bunch of walnuts. I've been having a craving for some nuts and that's the closest to what I was craving (salted cashews) that I had on hand.
Something chewy--fresh cracked from the shell--and oily but still a whole food.
Oh, I could easily overdo so many things (including walnuts)!
I turned my computer off--at least for a while as a statement to myself that I depend too much on that machine and need to back away from it at times and maybe even often so that I can have some semblance of a life!
I've had my share of addictions as all us have had but this computer thing--I have no other "electronic gadgets" I can take with me out of the house and I want to keep it that way. I treasure my "alone time" away from all that stuff too much to even contemplate changing it.
I am reading a great book. But you (I) can't read all day long--except there were times--going through the Harry Potter series--I did just that--eat and read, eat and read.
But these slower summer days allows me as a teacher to choose more deliberately my life that I want to live.
It has to be forced upon me almost--I could have pushed through the summer with extra employment but rest seems a more attractive option and I choose not to call it laziness although a part of me would like to ratchet up my energy reserves and make a little extra income. But people are threatening to take away what little I have so I might not get much out of my extra effort anyway.
I know what it takes to get through a school year as a substitute as my sole source of income and having extra smmertime off is part of it.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Doing and Being
Who goes down
a slide
and says
"slower, please"?
Aren't we living
for life-
for the thrill,
for the fun of it--
pass the potatoes
...and a second
helping of
fun
please.
The governor
on my
burlap sack-
(remember the giant
fun house slides
where you could
race someone
to the bottom?)
is
not
available-
only
full speed
ahead
(gravity rules)
hands in the air
Ah, the thrill!
But wait.
What about
time for myself?
a little downtime,
Extreme Self-care?
Who's most important
here,
anyway?
Giving in to
cultural
conditioning
and habit
can sometimes
burn
our engines
out.
We're then
in the shop
for repairs-
the decision
made for us.
I find
listening inside
and following
fearlessly the
trust
in myself
allows for
a good balance
in rest
and activity.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
a slide
and says
"slower, please"?
Aren't we living
for life-
for the thrill,
for the fun of it--
pass the potatoes
...and a second
helping of
fun
please.
The governor
on my
burlap sack-
(remember the giant
fun house slides
where you could
race someone
to the bottom?)
is
not
available-
only
full speed
ahead
(gravity rules)
hands in the air
Ah, the thrill!
But wait.
What about
time for myself?
a little downtime,
Extreme Self-care?
Who's most important
here,
anyway?
Giving in to
cultural
conditioning
and habit
can sometimes
burn
our engines
out.
We're then
in the shop
for repairs-
the decision
made for us.
I find
listening inside
and following
fearlessly the
trust
in myself
allows for
a good balance
in rest
and activity.
Copyright © 2012 Gary Frates
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