Chocolate :)

I ate chocolate today
So many mixed feelings about
the enjoyment of that pleasure.
I like the sweet, sugary and I guess,
stimulating taste of it. It sort
of rushes my brain like an Al Capone
drug raid but if I take the time
to slow down and feel its satiating
effects and don't overeat it--I always usually know when I overeat food if I tune into how full I'm feeling but am usually not able to stop myself from the stuffed, comforting feeling of the emotion-numbing fullness of food--if I don't overeat it, I can recover my brain and nervous system balance with the addition of other healthy foods, if I also don't overeat them, as well.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that if it's in the house--look out! Unless I deprive and deny myself what I want, when I want it, and say to myself, "no, you shouldn't eat that kind of food if you want the highest state of health and clarity of mind, etc." , I'm going to indulge when my should-censor is napping or has temporarily opened the gate to relax my stringent restrictions on what is good for me and what is not.
Chocolate contains a lot of magnesium among other things and I may have been craving that nutrient and would have been fine, without cravings for a sugary, junky-type food (there are probably many worse than chocolate!) if I'd have had just that without the sugar, caffeine, and other chemicals in chocolate that people find so addicting and keep them coming back for more and more.
But I didn't think of that until after I had the chocolate and felt the similar calming, stress-relieving feeling as I get from a healthy dose of magnesium powder:)
I could probably do without chocolate and not miss it but it does enhance performance even though an eventual letdown is inevitable unless you keep a continuous stream coursing through your veins, but then you're asking for adrenal burnout from caffeine addiction--not good for people who live a healthy, high-energy lifestyle, such as myself.
So I'm left with the enigma of whether to have this stuff around or wait until I just have to make a special trip to the store to indulge my (latent) addiction--it's really not there if I keep other, healthy foods nourishing my body.
I think it's mainly the stress of the day that needs to be addressed esp. when I get home from work at the end of the day, and can be handled in ways that make chocolate a treat, if at all, once in a (great) while and other tasty, fun, healthy foods or exercises, meditation, etc. can reduce some of that "pressure" to give in to something maybe my body only needs for pain relief and would not need if the pain was gone and I was pretty relaxed from working out, say.
Have I painted myself into a corner, yet?
I have bought carob so I could sleep at night and enjoy a chocolaty flavor. But now that I'm sleeping somewhat better...can you see where I'm going with this...I think I'll stop here..while I'm ahead--I am ahead aren't I:)?